Over the last decade, I’ve been focusing a lot on being the in-betweener, exploring what’s in between things – when can we behold two or more definitions at the same time? How can we push beyond a certain boundary so you’re not this but also not that defining that? I’ve done it so much that I think I’ve slightly lost control and attention to my world – the reality.

I’ve always been looking into the future, worrying about my plans, indulging in my past, and often just being light-headed when things actually happen. Of course, don’t get me wrong, there are also moments I want to remember, so I quickly snap a picture, record a video, or write a small (sometimes mental) note. But those are also created in a way that’s framed and optimized – crafted to be consumed later. It leaves me asking myself: what else can I do?

In recent years, I’ve tried to pull myself away from unnecessary distractions, so I left most social media. You can still find me – I’m alive – but it’s not that easy to get hold of me. I’ve learned to switch off after work (most of the time), just staring at the void or listening to random music to decompress. I stopped making music or working on creative projects because I still don’t have enough headspace to create a “partition” between what I’m busy with and what makes my life sustainable.

I still go to gigs or exhibitions if they’re things I absolutely love or if they’re not too expensive. I’ve started enjoying (maybe even too much) going to the grocery store, collecting and tracking things I like and want, making lattes that I don’t drink, experimenting with mixology, visiting places I never thought I’d go to, and falling in love with those spaces. I’ve gotten interested in topics like time, space, and architecture, decorating a Christmas tree every year, mastering international shipping, becoming a project management professional (both in life and work), making new friends, and still saying hello to my old friends from time to time. Even if I don’t always get a reply or forget to reply myself, that’s okay – it’s just a phase of life.

I feel like I’ve spent my time in ways I thought I wanted to, but I also haven’t turned into someone I don’t want to be. It’s always in-between, and I’m learning to understand that everything is in-between. There’s no way not to be like that.

To my 2015-2024.

p.s. I also slightly updated this website, and will continue doing it from time to time 🙂